Taking Deep Breaths

In the middle of a movie we were watching last night, the phone rings. It is AJ who is sitting on the side of the road with a broken car. Based on his description on the phone I diagnose it as a broken fan belt or a bad alternator. So I hop in my truck and go off to rescue him. We use my truck to charge up his battery (because it was a bad alternator) just enough so he can drive the car the ten miles back to our house. I am feeling pretty good about how resourceful we were, not needing to get the car towed and all. An alternator is a pretty easy fix so I figure we will buzz into town in the morning and pick up a new alternator, install it and he will be off to his New Years Eve gig by early afternoon. I was wrong.

We rose early with good intentions. I thought, hey, if we remove the old alternator first it will save another trip into town to return it later (to get the core charge back). Of course having no garage and living in Maine and it being winter, it is all of 15 degrees outside. Not the best conditions for auto repair but we have no other choice.

Now the alternator on a 96 Escort is right there on the top left side of the vehicle, in plain view, just tempting you to try and remove it. It looks easy. The belt came right off. the two bolts holding it in place came right out. Then you would think the altinator would just pop right out. Ahh No!

The alternator is positioned under the bracket that is used to hold it in place in a manner that prevents one from removing it from the engine compartment. It is also guarded on either side by the power steering reservoir and the engine itself. It must have taken the engineer a good week to figure out how to make this alternator this easy to see and this hard to remove. Enough said, it took an hour, a large screwdiver, a large pry bar and much foul language to get the alternator out. But we prevailed and off we went to town to find the replacement.

No problem getting a new one at the parts store and since it was so much fun removing the alternator we figured we would get a new belt just to make sure we could have even more fun putting the alternator back in.

Amazingly the new belt went in with not too much trouble after conferring with a drawing we found using google. Then there is the alternator. It was like solving a puzzle getting it out so I knew getting it back in was going to be fun. It had warmed up to a balmy 20 degrees so I could actually feel some parts of my hands.

Right below the altinator is the power steering pump and its intake and discharge hoses are part of the puzzle that must be solved to install the alternator. Using the same tools we used to remove the alternator we attempted to install the new one. We pushed, prodded, pulled and cursed but it did not want to assume the correct position. The big screwdriver was used and so was the prybar. Nothing seemed to work.

Now at some point the power steering intake hose was in the way and one of the tools was used to move it ever so gently out of the way. I may have even heard a cracking sound at same time. Not too long after that AJ commented on the fact that there was now a fluid draining from his car. You may not realize this but fluid draining from a car is not a normal part of an alternator replacement. Not good!!

Oh the cracking sound? That would have been the intake of the power steering pump breaking off. Yes, a high quality Ford power steering pump with a plastic intake? Who would have thought. Yes, the sarcasm is intended! At this point I am so angry I can't even curse as no words would do it justice. My fingers are frozen, the altinator is not installed, the power steering pump is broken and needs to be replaced. And the bad news?? The power steering pump doesn't look "easy" to install like the alternator!

To be continued...

Big Brother is Watching

The homestead in the woods as seen from a satellite at 1161 feet. This picture must have been taken the summer of 2004 as I can tell the new deck is under construction and it looks like some decking supplies in the front yard. The gravel pit looks huge and is quite the scar on the otherwise beautiful landscape. The pit however is quite useful for discharging firearms, hitting golf balls and star gazing not to mention the gathering of gravel and sand. You can double click on the image to make it larger.

The End of the Year Crawl

Will this week ever end? Is it just me or does it seem like no one else is working this week? The clock seems to barely move. My email box has never been so lonely. I think even the spammers took the week off as I have only received one offer for "male enhancement" and one notification that a mortgage I never applied for has been approved. Does every year end with such a drag? I can't seem to remember.

I have been fighting a cold for the last two weeks that just will not go away. The stock market seems to be stuck, just struggling to hang on to what little gains it made this year. Where is that end of the year rally? The weather has been crap with freezing rain, snow and more rain. Has this week just been a bad metaphor for all of 2005? If so, bring on 2006.

Maybe I should recap 2005 with all of its "highs and lows" but what is the point. The year did not go as I would thought it would but then again what year does. It was a year in which my family suffered a tragic loss and struggled in areas I would have never guessed. At work I am (pleasantly) surprised to still be employed at my current job but have seen many of my coworkers and friends move on. I am happily married, in good health and surrounded by those I love. All and all I shouldn't complain (but I will).

One thing for sure, 2006 is going to be an "interesting" year. It will bring many changes and challenges. Maybe I should not be in such a hurry to see 2005 end. Makes me wonder what I will be writing about this time next year?????

Now where is that Magic 8 Ball?

The Day After

As the rain today melts away the white Christmas snow of yesterday and the torn remnants of wrapping paper are taken out with the trash I reflect on yet another Christmas come and gone. The stress of shopping is over and the moments of anticipation have past. Once again it was good to spend time with family and friends as that is the most important part of the holiday, the sharing of food and laughter is more important than the giving of gifts.

In the area of gifts I have to say that everyone did a good job where I was concerned this year. Everything I received was something I wanted or needed so I did not feel anyone wasted their good money just to get me "something". I especially appreciated the gifts that were hand made with ones own labor and creativity. It is easy to buy something at the store but when one spends their own time and labor it truly means something.

Our family routine for the holidays has been established for some years now and it has become a comfortable tradition. I have to wonder though how long it will be until that "tradition" changes as the kids grow older and make their way out into the world. Just as our parents had to change their traditions so will we and in time they to will become comfortable.

Thank you to all who reached out to us this Christmas. Your cards, food, gifts and mostly your friendship means a lot to us and is truly appreciated. I hope you enjoyed your Christmas as much as we did.

Only 364 more shopping days until Christmas 2006.

The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week #4

Coming in at number 4 this week after dropping out of the top five for a couple of weeks Calpine once again makes it presence known on Wall street or Pink Street an ally off Wall street where stocks that have been kicked off the New York Stock Exchange hangout. The fact that it made it on to the top 5 is indicative of a slow news week on the street as it is the week before Christmas. The bankruptcy of Calpine having been predicted by many for some time now.

In the first day of motions in court Calpine received approval to continue employee compensation and benefits including performance based wage increases. This caused me to scratch my head while rushing to the bank and simultaneously updating my resume.

Bye Bye Johnny Good Bye

I miss the days of Johnny Bench, Joe Morgan and Pete Rose. The days of my youth when the men on the diamond represented the team, they were the team. They loved to wear the uniform as much as the fan loved the team. They were not just some over paid athlete who wears the uniform as long as the price is right. They were fixtures on the team, bigger than life. I can still name every position player on the Big Red Machine but I can't remember who played 2nd base for the Red Sox two seasons ago.

The rivalries of my childhood were real. The Red Sox fans hated the Yankees and so did the players, maybe even more so. Now the rivalries exist only in the stands and in the media that does its best to pump up the fan. Tickets to see the Red Sox play the Yankees sell for 10 time there face value. But the players? Hell they arrive together in the same car (Manny and Arod) or go out to eat after the game. The rivalry is no more real than Peter Pan and Captain Hook played by best friends in a grade school play. Oh, they put on a good show, they say the right things and may even fight (Arod & Varetek) but it is just a act, a momentary flash in the pan, something that sells tickets and that is after all what they are there for, to sell tickets and make the huge amount of money it takes to pay their salaries.

Johnny Damon is gone. The "idiot" has signed with the dreaded Yankees. He will come to Fenway and get boos from the fans. The same fans who cheered him just a few months ago. He will make 52 million dollars. Now who is the idiot?

Personally I hope he gets razor rash. Go Sox

Calpine Files for Ch. 11 Protection: Financial News - Yahoo! Finance

There it is, a done deal. Calpine finally throws in the towel and makes the filing for bankruptcy. No surprise to most people who have been paying attention to the company. 22 Billion in debt makes it number 9 in the list of the top 10 bankruptcy in US history. Makes me feel good to know we made the top 10. We beat Adelphia and a couple of airlines but still pale in comparison to World Com and Enron.

I am pretty much numb to the whole thing as my plant blazed the trail by going bankrupt over a year ago. "Come on in the water is fine'. The sad part is that a few friends and coworkers have lost a significant amount of money on the stock. I took my lumps a few years ago. My future and the future of my plant is a separate situation and will probably end up the same regardless of what Calpine's future holds.

Calpine is (was) a people orientated company that took care of it's employees. They spent foolishly when money was easy to come by and they put all of their eggs in one basket (natural gas) and now they must pay the price. I hope that Calpine is successful in the plan to reorganize and that it will continue to focus on the people that have made it a great place to work (other than the fact that they went bankrupt).

Calpine 2001 $58/ share
Calpine 2005 0.15/share

Maybe I should buy in.........?

The Bitch is Back

Sorry about the bad pun but after my last attempt at a serious post I felt an obligation to be witty. This is Sierra a nine year old Chocolate Lab who is staying with us (again) for a few months and possibly longer if her owner decides to stay in Florida.

She is a bit more active than Stoker and wants to play tug-a-war until our arms fall off. She has settled in nicely and we would not mind making her a permanent addition to our family.

Her eyes really don't look that scary. She had a bad case of doggy redeye from the flash and I tried to fix them in photoshop but it doesn't seem to work very well on dog eyes.

You Can't Buy Happiness, But It Is Fun To Try?

“You can buy fun, but you can’t buy happiness.” The words from the radio bounced around in my head as I drove home the other day. How is fun related to happiness? Can you have fun but not be happy? Can one be happy without having fun? The more I thought about it the more I felt that fun and happiness may be polar opposites, two forces pulling in different directions. Is that possible?

Fun as defined by Webster is “what provides amusement or enjoyment” while Happiness is defined as “a state of well-being and contentment”. Can it be argued that what provides amusement does not lead to contentment or well-being? I think a sense of well-being comes from being healthy both physically and mentally. It comes from a sense of balance in life, productivity, acceptance and security. So, how can fun be adverse to a sense of well-being? Consider the following examples:

It is not fun to get up early in the morning and go to the gym. It would be much more fun to sleep in but that morning work out is very important to my physical health and contributes to my sense of well-being. Getting exercise makes my happy.

It is fun to go out to eat. It is fun to eat until I can’t move. I love to eat. I love sweet treats. I love to snack. But it makes me happy to feel fit. It makes me happy to look in the mirror and see a body that has shape other than a blob. The fun of eating does not lead to my happiness.

I love techno-gadgets. It is fun to go shopping for the latest and greatest laptop, digital camera, MP3 player; you name it there is no end to. As soon as I buy one, they come out with something better. Oh its fun to bring something new and shiny home, but does it makes me happy? Yes, for a while, until it is neither new nor shiny or until the “new model” comes out. It is a loosing battle. My long-term sense of security, my sense of well-being is better served by a well-funded savings account. Instead of spending my money on trinkets I am better served by saving and investing. Once again conflict between fun and happiness.

I love to lie on the couch and watch football (and snack). It is fun. I look forward to it each Sunday. Then the game ends. The fun is over. The weekend is over and I reflect on what I have accomplished. What I have been able to do with my free time and unless I have made good use of my “non-football” time I am not happy. My sense of well-being comes from being productive. Getting something done. “Killing something and dragging it home” as the saying goes. Building my deck was not fun. It took a lot of time and caused more than a bit of frustration but I can tell you every time I see the finished product it makes me happy.

Fun is short lived, a flash in the pan. Happiness is long lasting, held up by the beams and braces of hard work and diligence. Yes it is true I could not be happy if I had no fun, no football and no ice cream. It seems that fun is not the polar opposite of happiness, but rather one of the many different beams needed to support and balance that important sense of well-being. If my happiness was simply supported by fun it would tumble like a house of cards in a strong wind. Yes, I can buy fun but I will have to continue to work for my happiness.

Not our Xmas Photo

Here is the photo you will not receive in your Chrismas card but maybe you should have. We would have sent it but the dogs complained that it made them look fat (before I cropped them). Notice how non "Charlie Brown" our tree is this year. Happy Holidays to All!!

Peave(s) of the Day

You read a magazine. You like the magazine. Then you subscribe to the magazine to save money and a trip to the store. Then said magazine arrives in your mailbox, not just one but two copies on the very same day. This months edition and last months edition. They back date your subscription to the month previous and get rid of some left over inventory by sending you the old magazine. Now if you had been reading the magazine which more than likely you had since you liked it and you subscribed, you most likely had purchases last month edition at the cover price and had already digested it. There you go, your 12 month subscription just became 11 months.

Part 2.
You currently subscribe to a magazine, which you like. They call you on the phone to see if you would like to renew since "your subscription is running out soon" and you say sure. No harm, no inflated price, no problem right?. Then you see your magazine and realize that your subscription runs out in November of 2006. Apparently to the magazine, soon is any time in the next 12 months. Based on that, I better mow my lawn soon.

Returning from the Hunt

Little H. and I return from a successfully xmas tree hunt. The fir was the top of a large tree in the woods out back of the house. We had asked little H. if she would rather go to a tree farm and get a "nice" tree or if she would rather cut one in the woods. With little thought, she said we should cut one in the woods. Some years in the past the trees we have cut in the woods have been a bit on the Charlie Brown side but I think this one is pretty nice. I will post a pic of the tree once decorated. Big H. is taking the photo.

Table Debut

After several weeks in the basement the new table finally emerges fully finished. A fruit wood stain and three coats of poly. With both leaves inserted it measures 96x40. Room for plenty of food and friends.

ahhhhh

Six inches of freshly fallen snow, a moonlit ski in the woods with little H. and the dog. A perfect way to end the work week.....

Rinse and Spit

I spend a lot of time these days wondering what I will do in the next chapter of my life. Not sure if or when this chapter might end but knowing that it is a good possibility that it may end soon I often think of what my options might be. There are thousands of different things a person can do to earn a living and figuring out what you want to be “when you grow up” is very difficult. So, I thought that rather than try to figure out what I would like to do with my life, it might be easier to figure out what I don’t want to do. Today, after a trip to my dentist I have decided to eliminate the Dental Hygienist career from my list of possibilities.

If you are a Dental Hygienist, what is your motivation to get out of bed in the morning? Scraping teeth? Gingivitis? The small glimmer of hope that one, just one of your patients my possibly take up the habit of flossing?

As I sit in the chair I often wonder what it was in that persons life, what “ah hah” moment occurred when the light bulb went on in their head that said “ I want to be Dental Hygienist”! Did they fail out of nursing school? Did they practice good oral hygiene with their dolls as a child? Maybe it was the sound of a fork scraping across a dinner plate that always gave them joy and removing tartar from teeth is as close to that pure bliss as they can get.

They get to spend most of their day with people who are unable to communicate. That doesn’t mean they don’t attempt to carry on a conversation with you while you mouth is full o tools or fluoride rinse. “Are you ready for Christmas?” “Uhmslh ish toihsoiy uwoiu mmmmnta” I reply. The amazing part is that those who have been in the field for 10 or more years will understand and try and continue the conversation.

On the plus side I guess playing with the squirt hose and the spit sucker could be cool. And I have to admit that I would get pleasure from hitting my patient sensitive teeth with that ice cold water and watching them jump from the chair or dig their fingers into the chair’s hand rests. I would never have to buy a new toothbrush or dental floss. Do you think they can play with the chair after hours? Maybe I should reconsider

“Please rinse and spit”

A box of pampers , some Marlboro Lights

Those of you who know me well know that two of my favorite things in the whole world are:
Christmas music and Country music!!
So imagine my delight when I discovered that my satalite radio is offering the best of both worlds. 24 hour, commercial free, country Christmas carols.
Why I am just tickled silly.
So yall don't feel left out I included a sample below:

Merry Christmas from the Family

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
Til he sang Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of pampers , some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night o' holy night

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Mix Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
A box of midol, some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Company Christmas Party

This morning I should be writing about how great our company Christmas party was last night. Not to mention giving the first ski report of the season as the party was to be hosted at the Sunday River Ski Resort. We had rooms booked, dinner and the usual open bar. Ahh but it was not to be as the Grinch stole Christmas. Last Thursday as we watched our companies stock dip even closer to zero, the announcement was made "All Christmas Parties are to be cancelled". So, I don't know how much it cost to cancel the party but none the less the plug was pulled at the last minute. It was the right thing to do because if we filed Ch. 11 bankruptcy in the next month or so, they (the ski resort) would most have likely gotten stiffed on the bill.

So, rather than spend the night at a xmas party after skiing the day away. I spent the day sanding and staining the legs of the new dining room table. Then, so the night wasn't a total loss we went to a friends house for Chinese and a robust game of spades.

Now I am a competitive card player and I don't like to lose. Having spent many a day at sea with nothing better to do than play cards I have logged more than a few hours at the card table. Not poker or any money games just spades, hearts and cribbage mostly. So I think I know how to play the game. This creates problems and partner games like spade are the worst.

I find myself constantly trying to coach my partner. Not table talk during the play but after each hand I may comment on how things could have played differently or how to have bid a certain hand. This is often mistaken for criticism and can irritate my partner. I know this and yet I don't seem to be able to stop after all I am just trying to help them become a better player. Why would someone not want to become better? My comment of "you should have trumped with a higher card on that queen because that suit had already played twice and you should know you are not the only one going trump" is usually met with a blank stare or the question "what queen" as my partner has long since forgotten the hand played.

Now that brings up another point. Should H. have to be my partner? After all she chose to marry me so shouldn't she have to suffer through this constant "help"? Should the person who just happen to draw a high or low card close to mine be the subject of my constant "improvement advise"? Well last night H. didn't have the privilege of having me as a partner. Our friends pure unsuspecting wife was thrown into the hot seat by choosing too low of a card from the deck. Yes I proved that you can win the game and still have a bad time doing it. We won, but I am not sure she realized it. After all of my "help" I think she felt she had done nothing correct all night and may never play again. Sorry! On the plus side, I didn't have to go home with her and we did win!!

No, I think we all had fun. Maybe? I hope? Did I mention we won?

The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

Click on title to see referenced article

Calpine is only the 2nd dumbest thing on Wall St. this week, this coming after Calpine claiming the number one spot last week. Things are looking up.....????

Brown Bags, Plastic Cups and Motorcycles

With events at work and at home weighing heavy on my mind, I wanted to post something that had nothing to do with either. I had read a post on another blog about a "most embarrassing moment" and it made me pause and think "what would be mine?"

Well I hope I can do this justice. Some of you know this story and hopefully you will at least chuckle again and maybe I can get a full fledged laugh from those who have not heard the story yet.

It was about nine years ago, just after H. and I had decided to make a go of this relationship on a long term basis. We had discussed having more children, the advantages and disadvantages of adding to our "instant" family. Myself having just spent a year with a some what obstinate 3 year old thought that what we had was good and I was not ready to start completely over again. H. agreed so we set out to keep our family at its current population. That is how I ended up leaving my doctors office one afternoon with a post vasectomy "test kit"

A post vasectomy "test kit" simply contains a small plastic sample bottle with lid and a plain brown lunch bag in which to carry the bottle. I suppose this is so no one can tell you are carrying a small plastic sample bottle with lid. The kit was brought home and stored until that day in the future when I had healed enough to be able to provide a sample for the post vasectomy test kit.

It was a warm summer day and I had to work the second shift so I had the morning and early afternoon to myself. My doctor imposed wounds had healed and it was time I filled my obligation to the post vasectomy test kit. This had been highly advised as the procedure had been know to fail and H. did not have a great deal of confidence in my doctor. Those who have passed on the post vasectomy test have been rewarded with an additional 4 years of college for which to pay.

I completed the task "at hand" with the efficiency of one who may have been down that path a time or two and I secured the plastic lid on the plastic container. I placed said container in the brown lunch bag so that no one would know I was transporting a plastic container and I placed the brown bag into my backpack. Now I mentioned that it was a warm summer day and those of you who know me, know that on warm summer days my chosen mode of transportation is my motorcycle. I planned on dropping "the sample" at the lab at the local hospital for testing on my way to work. I strapped the backpack to my bike and off I went.

I arrived at the hospital without incident, proceeded to unpack my brown bag from my backpack and headed off to find the lab. With brown bag in hand (no one knew what was inside) I entered the hospital. Now lucky for me I have not had any reason for spending time in a hospital so I really did not know where I was going so I approached the receptionist and asked for direction to the lab. The pleasant woman at the desk inquired if I had completed the registration to which I explained I was only there to drop "a sample" off at the lab. She informed me that I still needed to complete registration and directed me to an office area down the hall.

I found the office and took a seat in front of the desk. I set my brown bag on the table next to me. She had no idea what was in the bag, that is until I had to tell her why I was there. So much for the brown bag, I could have just had the plastic sample cup sitting there. Anyway I filled out all the appropriate forms with address, employer and insurance information and I was finally able to set off to find the lab.

It was after I had traveled back down the hall and into the hospital entrance area when I first noticed something was not right with the brown paper lunch bag. It seems that the bottom of the bag had gotten wet. I must have set it down in something or maybe something in my backpack had spilled on it. It couldn't be....no it couldn't, it just couldn't. I stood in the lobby of the hospital wondering what to do. I need to know what it was. Coke, coffee, water.........my sample? I looked to see if anyone was looking. No one seemed to notice me standing there lost and confused. I slowly raised the brown lunch bag towards my nose bringing the ever increasing wet spot closer and closer. I looked around one more time. No one was looking. I sniffed, I sniffed again................Damn, it wasn't coke, it wasn't coffee it was what I had most feared, it was the product of my own making.

What to do, what to do? I looked at the door. I looked down the hall at the door to the lab. Should I just leave? But I had registered and maybe, just maybe there was enough still in the cup. I opened the brown lunch bag and looked inside. There was the plastic cup and there was the plastic lid still attached to the cup. There was the crack in the cup. There was the problem. It seems the post vasectomy test kit was not rated for travel in a backpack strapped to a motorcycle.

I was there. I had produced a sample and by god I was going to see it though. I took my wet brown lunch bag and headed off to the lab. I opened the door to lab and was greeted by.....yes you guessed it a cute young girl. Why don't they hire old ugly men for these positions?
"Can I help you?" she asked
"Yes, I replied "I am here to have a post vasectomy sample analyzed"
"Did you bring a sample?" she asked
"Yes, but there may be a problem"
"A PROBLEM? What sort of problem?" she asked with a puzzled concerned look
At this point I hold up the brown paper lunch bag with the now large wet spot covering most of the bottom of the bag.
She steps away from the bag "ahhhh I don't think we can accept that!"
"Are you sure" I say with hope in my voice
"I will go ask the technician" she says as she disappears into the next room

When she returns to the counter she simply states NO! At which point she raises a trash can from behind the counter and indicates that I should deposit my brown paper lunch bag into the can. At this point I think she knows what is in the bag.

Then she asks a question. "Can you provide another sample? or would you like a new sample bottle to take home?"

Who does she think I am? Superman? It has only been an hour since the first sample. I lower my head, accept the sample bottle and make my way out of the hospital. I still have to go to work. I will have to do it all over again. Next time I will drive my car to the hospital.

The next sample was delivered without incident, no problem, well no problem except I failed the test. The buggers were swimming the gap. I would have to go under the knife again! This is a true story.